You Might Be a Diehard If...

	...you have "Dedicated Red Sox fan" on your resume.
– Sean Daley
	...you live in Sweden but follow the Sox on the internet.
– Rus Cobleigh
	...you're stuck 2000 miles away from Boston and have no TV, so you call your dad during the Sox game and ask him to hold up the telephone to the TV so you can hear what's going on.
– Becca
	...you tap your toes and adjust your wrist watch several times before sitting down to the dinner plate.
– Rick Pizzella
	...you made your six- and three-year-old cousins lie on the ground with you at 11:30 pm for an hour reaching under the fence for an autograph after they lost in extra innings. Thank God for Lou Merloni... the kids would have killed me if they didn't get anything out of it. They can't wait to do it again. Next time maybe I'll bring the baby too.
– Lori
	...you compare watching the Sox to watching Old Yeller. He always dies in the end, but you still hope that the next time will be different...
– Jason Tardie
	...you've spent hours at the chapel saying the rosary, praying for a victory.
– Shannon Welsh
	...the first word you learned to spell (as a 3-year-old) was Yastrzemski.
– Murph
	...you live in New York and constantly fight with Yankee fans, especially in school, and even if the whole class (and teacher) is against you arguing that the Red Sox will never win another pennant, you persistently continue to fight off the frontrunners and the Yankee "fans" (who don't even know what time the Yankees game is at).
– Melissa
	...you light moldy pumpkins that stink up your apartment just because they bring bad luck to the Yankees during the World Series. The first time you lit them Yankees lost so you have to keep lighting them no matter what.
– Maria
	...you called everyone you know to tell them the Red Sox pitched a perfect game in spring training.
– Rich Spada
	...you think of Trevor Hoffman as "Glenn Hoffman's brother."
– Paul Goode
	...your mom bought you a jar of Pedro Martinez brand salsa even though she knows you detest salsa, purely because she knows you'll want to keep the jar. (It does have Pedro on it, after all!)
– Tase
	...you have ever attached stereo speaker wire to the antenna screws on the back of your TV, attached the other end to a coat hanger, and thrown the hanger on the roof of your apartment building so you can get the UHF station in Baltimore that is broadcasting the Orioles vs. Sox game. You then squint through the static to watch, because, since you live in a National League market (before interleague play), it is probably the last chance you'll have to see the slumping Sox before the season ends.
– Dave Stokes in Newark, Delaware
	...you are planning a drive to spring training and your boss tells you that you need to stay in town because the head honchos are coming in for an important meeting... and you just up and quit... all for spring training!
– Angie
	...your grandfather saw the Sox at the Huntington Avenue Grounds.
– Paul Goode
	...you stand outside of Fenway in January to meet the players. It turns out to be Tommy Harper, Steve Lomasney, and Jin Ho Cho. I was so frozen that I could not sit. My legs would have snapped off! But it was worth it.
– Arlene
	...you pay homage to the K-Men by taping little red K's under the picture of Pedro you have on your dorm room door when he's pitching.
– Lexie Hoerl
	...it's grade seven, and it's the boys' turn in sewing class. While everyone else makes a toque, you fashion a custom Red Sox jersey with every intention of sewing "Clemens" on the back. And you live in Saskatchewan.
– Mike
	...you go to see the Lowell Spinners play out of town because you know that they will all be in Boston someday, and tell them that but they don't believe you. You are determined to get all their autographs and find them at the consession stand, and you only end up getting eight. Hey, they thought I was crazy for asking! One guy said to me, "My autograph won't even buy you a cup of coffee!"
– Liz
	...you still wear the plastic-mesh-backed Sox hat in which your mom wrote your name in large capital letters in 1979 so you wouldn't lose it at summer camp.
– Dave Barbeau
	...your response to the trivia question "Who was the last Red Sox pitcher (before Derek Lowe) to throw a no-hitter in Fenway Park?" is "Duh: Dave Morehead."
– Paul Goode
[Editor's note: If you aren't stumped by "easy" trivia questions like this, check out RedSoxDiehard.com's         trivia section!]
	...you think the most satisfying moment of the 2001 season was seeing Everett break up Mussina's perfect game.
– Rich Spada
	...you went to a game between the Phillies and D-Backs with a sign that said, "Am I the only Red Sox fan here?"
– Shawn McCarthy
	...you tell your friends that you won't accept a marriage proposal that doesn't come during the seventh inning stretch in Fenway Park.
– Becca
	...your kids' school drawings systematically disappear from the fridge to make room for Red Sox ticket stubs and Fenway magnets.
– Robert Crawford
	...you blasted Steinbrenner to his face in Winter Haven when he suggested that your infant daughter would look good in a Yankees cap.
– Greg
	...as a science teacher in Illinois, you spend a few minutes teaching students about the Boston Red Sox in September and October as well as April and May like a missionary spreading Christianity. This can at times lead to huge arguments with Cubs fans about how who really has it worse - those living with the Drought or those living with the Curse. If that's not enough you even have to explain SLOWLY why Fenway Park is better than Wrigley Field.
– Greg Tancrell
	...You have two TVs at work (on the sales floor) so you don't have to reprogram the one hooked up to the dish when the sox are on FOX instead of NESN.
– Gateway Guys
	...you were hit in the head as a 4-year-old by a line drive foul ball off of Dave Stapleton's bat. Jim Rice carried me out of the seats, through the clubhouse and to the ambulance. I was lucky enough to meet most of the Red Sox at the time, and threw out the first pitch in 1983 along with Yaz's father.
– Jonathan Keane
	...you spend more time writing questions for Jerry Remy on NESN's "Hit the Net" mailbag than to your own mother.
– Robert Crawford
	...you constantly argue with your mom on just how necessary that picture of Mike Greenwell on the wall is to the the decor of the living room.
– Jesse Reardon
	...as a teacher in New York, you left at 3 pm on a weekday, rented a car, drove to Boston to see a game in the '99 playoffs (Mercker vs. El Duque), left the game at 12:30 am, drove back all night, got up and taught the next day (and your students saw you in the bleachers on TV!)
– Peter Neisuler
	...you've cleared out your room, stripped all the wallpaper off, and printed thousands of Red Sox pictures off of the internet so your room can be a Red Sox haven with Red Sox wallpaper on every square inch of the wall! It can be done! I did it! Phew!
– Marie D.
	...at work you find yourself humming Fox's and NESN's Red Sox theme songs.
– Robert Crawford
	...you don't attend Easter dinner with your inlaws because you have Sox tickets, and your mother-in-law is irate and calls your Mom, and your Mom backs you up and says they are playing the Yankees, you don't understand.
– John L.
	...you are known as the Red Sox scoreboard at school, and can be counted on to listen to each day game during study hall.
– Tom Gordon
	...instead of "Mommy" or "Daddy" your kid's first word is "Manny."
– Robert Crawford
	...instead of "Mommy" or "Daddy" your kid's first words are, "Damn you, Jimy! Give him the green light on those 3-0 pitches!"
– Robert Crawford
	...you've travelled 7000 miles from England via Florida to watch the Red Sox play in Oakland, see them lose 7-3 after being 3-0 up, miss the next game due to being too depressed, find out they win the next game, and return for the final game to see them finally win 5-4, calling long distance to Florida to get your own mother to record it on ESPN.
– Robert Dunford
	...you are the only person in the stands rooting aganist your local minor league team when they're playing a Red Sox farm team.
– Anais
	...you're Catholic and have devised a plausible way to receive all seven Sacraments at Fenway Park.
– Robert Crawford
	...you teach your 2-year-old neice to reply to the question of "Who stinks?" with the response of "Yankees". Then you teach her when you ask, "Who's the best ballplayer?" to answer "Nomahhhhh!!"
– Derek
	...you did your physics report on Ted Williams' Science of Hitting, and your Spanish class biography on Manny Ramirez. You live in NY, and were proud to recite them in front of a class full of Yankee fans.
– Greg
	...you do as I did and name your son "Boston", no matter what those bandwagon Yankee fans here in Oklahoma have to say about it!
– Cameron
	...your 16-month-old daughter runs to get your Sox hat whenever she sees baseball on TV, because she knows you need it!
– Matt
	...you've ever held on through 18 long innings against Detroit, waiting for that solo home run, then went around back to see if you could get Daubach's autograph. (I did! Thanks Brian!!)
– Laura
	...you remember where Ted Williams was the moment you heard that Kennedy was shot.
– Robert Crawford
	...you've figured out the Sox "magic number", and it's the first week of June. (107)
– Shawn
	...you can tell who's hitting well on the Sox by their beards.
– Rich
	...you were sure that the Sox were going to win the 6th game in '86 because Joe Cronin's daughter was sitting two rows in front of you at Shea, and you honestly believed that this was a sign of redemption from God.
– John
	...you named your dog Fenway, and you live in Texas so everyone thinks you are saying Freeway.
– Tim
	...you've started wearing shirts with the top few buttons open, because that's the way Manny would wear them.
– D.G.
	...you skipped school and soccer practice in 1967 to watch the Red Sox play in the World Series - I got busted and ran 30 laps.
– Phil Lovely
	...you and your equally diehard summer camp co-worker waste valuable working hours yelling at a nine-year-old wearing a Yankees hat: "Are you from New York? No? WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT?!?" You proceed to drill said traitorous child with questions about his so-called favorite team's starting lineup to determine if this poor soul can be saved, and within the day, have convinced him to bury his Yanks hat in the mud and purchase a brand-spanking-new Red Sox one.
– Lynn
	...you had a picture taken in Fenway Park in December with Joe Mooney and your dog (named Fenway Frank) for a Christmas present to your wife.
– David D.
	...you go to India (I was born there) for a month, and go to an internet cafe to watch play-by-play on the computer screen as there is no other way to know about the Sox game. I did that for the whole month I was there.
– Sushanth Kancharla
	...you change the channel for a predetermined period of time during a game the Sox are losing, because you feel like you're putting too much pressure on the offense by watching!
– Diehard Mike
	...whenever you are at a public event during a Sox game, everyone asks you the score because they KNOW you have a radio.
– Nick Byra
	...you were the only one in your class to not go on your senior class trip because it was to Yankee Stadium for a Yankees-Indians game.
– Howard D'Angelo